Poop Crisis

The other day we went on a mall adventure with Nana. I was one happy pupper as I love exploring new places and spending time with one of my favourite hoomans. I sat nicely with Mum and Nana while they had lunch and after they were done I had a quick potty break. I seemed keen to go back inside to explore so Mum assumed I didn’t need a longer potty walk. As we were walking around I started to pick up the pace. I could hear Nana chattering away about how adorable my zigzagging was. “Look at how fast his little legs go,” she said.

Meanwhile I could sense a change in Mum and could smell the anxiety oozing out of her. While trying not to draw attention to herself she quietly made a beeline (with me, of course) for the exit. She turned to Nana and said, “Yes, it’s cute but that’s also Kona’s looking for a place to poop walk.” We were almost at the exit when I stopped and started to squat. Mum quickly picked me up and looked at the ground. Nothing.

everypawdy p

oops

[p-oops…]

Crisis averted! You see, she didn’t want to be that dog mum -- the one that lets her dog behave like an animal. Mind you, I’m a civilised pup with good manners. But she misjudged my urgency to go. And picking me up mid-poo wasn’t going to stop anything from coming out. I was confused why she was even bothering because the train had already left the station.

Mum continued to speed toward the exit -- I could see the sweat starting to bead around her forehead. Just as I was about to lean over to give her face a good lick, a respectable sized poop slipped out into her hand. Nana was still chattering away as I heard Mum quietly whisper to her that I had just pooped in her hand. “Oh my,” Nana said.

Once outside Mum thought she could stealthily pull the turd out of my bum, wash her hands and be done with it. But as luck would have it, the end bit got caught in my hair and as she was trying to gently shake it free, she squeezed a bit too hard and the poop smeared and got all over her hand. Like there was actual poop embedded in her fingernails. I don’t know why Mum thought it was funny, but she kept laughing as she pulled baby wipe after baby wipe out of her bag.

I honestly thought Mum should’ve let me go and pick it up like she would normally. But she has a strange sense of moral obligation to society, especially when it comes to keeping shared spaces poo-free. I’m glad Mum was as calm as she could be and made it seem like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. After all, everypawdy poops right?